roachpatrol:

A bunch of little prize draws! In order: Feferi floating around, Tavros being a hunk, Vriska Jerusalem, and the Goddess of Light and Rain. 

hot

roachpatrol:

Hemostuck’s Aradia and Kanaya, just kind of being classy dames.

wowwwwwwwww

i have a lot of sad feelings about damara megido as she appears in hemostuck and she has not even shown up onscreen yet

terezipyropeinvestigates:

This week on TPI, paraTactician interviews eminent pornographer Roach ‘Roachpatrol’ Patrol and notorious clown addict urbanAnchorite about “The Fisher-Prince,” currently the canonical first story in their richly-imagined Hemostuck AU – a world in which red and brown blood is a badge of aristocracy, and purple blood the mark of outcasts. Read on for Discworld, systemic inequality, disappearing oranges, and kissing on the face!

There’s something really beautifully horrible too about such co-dependency, that Feferi would die or go mad without Eridan, that she’s trapped — and trapped resentfully — on the Corbenic, and that Eridan’s instant gut reaction to the idea of Feferi dying is to want to kill himself. That’s like an exploding railcar disaster of a romance — beautiful and no fun at all for anyone involved but damn it’s good drama. But they do love each other. They’ve probably hated each other some, in that whole mess, but it’s nice to have a world where they can love each other so much.

Hemostuck continues in “Lost Teeth Like White Jewels,” and has its own Tumblr here.

Read More

claps face in hands coos excessively etc

roachpatrol:

Guess who needs to look at her life and also her choices?

Hint: it’s not me.

ETA: Two more of the godheads are here. 

so i just really needed godheads on my blog today

roachpatrol:

Finished companion-piece to these two derps.

Have at ‘em, myth makers. 

roachpatrol:

urbananchorite:

And with a late-night guerilla update, we are pleased to announce the final chapter of Lost Teeth Like White Jewels. It’s a little late, but considering it’s weathered both Roach and I having heavy-duty jobs to contend with, we are content with its arrival and its size (a hefty 25k). Thank you for being with us on this episode of Hemostuck; we’re super excited that it’s done, and super excited to be moving on from it to new stuff!

Two pictures this time; the other two were deemed a bit spoilery, so you may bend your gaze toward them in-text. We very much hope you enjoy!

This fic took nine months to write and is 92.4 thousand words long. Like… that’s a lot. That’s a lot of fic.

I’d be more profound, but holy shit. That’s just a lot of fic to be done writing.  

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSSS

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

YES!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEATS CHEST SCREAMS FROM TOP OF MOUNTAINS

> Wriggle into your binder like an eel.

You cannot wriggle into your binder like an eel for many reasons, primary among them that your horns would probably rip the fabric and that even if you succeeded, it would be twice as difficult to extricate your hair from beneath it!

Luckily, your MOIRAIL is here to assist you in putting it on, like he is every evening.

CG: WELL MAYBE IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE SO MUCH GODDAMN HAIR
GA: wow rude no amount of whining is gonna convince me to cut it
GA: if it’s between convenience and my pride i’m gonna have to go with my pride here
GA: thanks for always helping though
CG: …NO PROBLEM

(whoops, I hemoanthemumtrollstuckstucked after all)

‘rails!

leon would be a terrible premier, but for his part, he and gulcasa have the kind of serendipity that you’d expect to find in lurid palemance novels, and can get so sloppily conciliatory in public that most other members of their clade find them too embarrassing to even look at.

urbananchorite:

roachpatrol:

Happy march madness from hemostuck, and hemostuck’s big giant genderfluid balls. 

this line terminates at BONERTOWN, all aboard for BONERTOWN

there is nothing not perfect about this image

roachpatrol:

urbananchorite:

Happy holidays, and a bumper edition new chapter of Lost Teeth Like White Jewels — clocking in at over 12k just for you guys!

It may only be a side-present, but it’s also now going to be a four-chapter deal — we’re looking at a little longer than Fisher-Prince — so you may view this with gladness or despair, whatever suits your fancy. In any case, thank you so much for your amazing support of the first chapter, and please tune in for some action or something, bracketed heavily by Karkat Vantas’ messed-up love life.

There is a beautiful picture in here wherein Karkat reminisces about things he and Sollux and Terezi used to do, only I ruin it mentally each time because I can’t see Eridan looking anywhere but his ass. I just wanted to ruin that picture for everyone else. Thank you.

<3 SEASON’S GREETINGS FROM THE HEMOSTUCK TEAM <3

I would like to point out that making the naked seatrolls picture the biggest picture in the set was all Taz’s fault. That being said, here are some naked seatrolls, you are welcome, internet. 

oh

i cant

i am such a mess of feelings about this au